Last week as I was cooking up my beloved fake meat for a big Sunday brekkie, I was listening to the gang at NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour discuss The Fate of the Furious, the latest film in the mega-successful action franchise. Their take was light-hearted but generous: exploring the pleasure and context of the film as a whole. It made me wish that popular women’s culture was treated with the same level of respect.
While women buy and read the most books, the literary establishment favors reviews and coverage of books written by men. And it’s not just the NYT guilty of dismissing this form of women’s work. How many times have you heard a “highbrow” male literary author heap shit on a “lowbrow” male thriller writer? I’d guess never. Speaking generally, men don’t draw cultural distinctions between their genres, because a) they don’t experience internalized sexism and b) popular male writers are not dismissed in the same way popular women writers are. This is not the same for women. Some of the most outspoken critics of (and I do hate this term) chick lit, are women authors and readers. Why?
I take my job very seriously. I work hard on my books, and telling stories about the modern female experience really means something to me. I love connecting with readers, but I no longer casually browse review sites. I have a relatively thick skin, but it only takes yet another “this is a fluffy, brainless read”-type review to really bum me out. While it’s impossible to be objective, I don't think The Regulars is fluffy or brainless. That hurts, but what hurts more is understanding that consistent sort of feedback in a global, historical context.
We live in a world where women’s ideas are devalued or flat-out disbelieved. Things designed for women and female audiences face disproportionate amounts of vitriol: Lena Dunham’s naked body (not pandering to male pleasure = gross), Fifty Shades of Grey, Twilight (speaks to female fantasies = stupid). I’m careful to watch my own reaction to culture created by women. If I find myself needing to defend a position that “my books aren’t chick lit”, I ask myself why. What is gained by dismissing other women’s work, work that is enjoyed by other women? Does dismissing “lowbrow” culture come from a place of love or fear?
Publishing books enriched my life in so many ways, and one of the most significant is perspective. Just because something isn’t for me, like, perhaps, The Fate of the Furious, does not mean it is worthless and stupid. I challenge myself to remain open-minded and curious about all forms of culture, especially those created and enjoyed by ladies. I encourage you to do the same.
How to Take Feedback
No matter the art form or project, getting feedback on your works-in-progress is both essential and really fucking tough. Good feedback will strengthen the work. Bad feedback can derail you and shake your confidence. In fiction we call our early readers "betas". Here's what I think about when getting feedback from my betas.
Expertise: Some betas are editors or agents. Others are friends or fellow authors. The former should be giving feedback that is coming from a knowledge of craft or the marketplace. The latter will likely be going with their feelings and taste. Both are good, but just know that a friend who tells you "you need to do more research" might actually be saying "because I personally prefer books that are heavily researched" not "research will strengthen your concept and help this book be an even better version of itself."
Emotion: Getting feedback from anyone at any stage is hard. Your first reaction will likely be defensive ("Screw you, I'm perfect!") or defeatist ("I'm screwed, I suck".) Both are understandable. Neither are helpful. It's okay to take the time you need to let the new brief you're essentially getting to sink in. Remember: asking for feedback and then acting on it is part of the process. Work rewrites into your schedule.
Could be/should be: The work could be anything. It should be a much smaller number of things. Sure, your heroine could fall in love with a woman or quit her job to travel the world. But she should be narrating a story that is captivating/authentic/well told (or whatever you're aiming for). When getting feedback, I try to listen for what sounds like something I really should be doing, because it will make the book better, even if it's a lot of work, vs ideas I could do--they're not bad ideas, but really, they're just different storylines--and they don't really serve this unique story well.
Go with your gut. Be honest with yourself. Don't be lazy. Do the work.
The Regulars is coming atcha in audio!
The Regulars and my forthcoming novel The Bucket List are both going to be audio books! I’ve been saving this announcement for my esteemed mailing list so you’re the first to hear it. The audio rights can be bought and sold like the foreign rights, so there’s no guarantee a novel becomes an audio book. We didn’t get any bites around pub, but the company BrillianceAudio bought the rights in a 2-book deal earlier this month. I just filled out the casting questionnaire, listing details such as all the accents the actor will have to do—British, Dutch and Australian. Can’t wait to hear that Aussie accent in my earbuds! I listen to audiobooks that I borrow from Brooklyn Library: just a reminder your local library has audio, e-, and regular books and is free to join!
Five ways I maintain belief in myself and my work
The Bucket List is my fourth novel. Some aspects of being a novelist do get easier: I work faster, feel confident attempting more ambitious plots, and I’m less in the dark about the business/marketing/publicity side of things. But some things feel harder, especially as my personal goalposts keep shifting. Even on not-so-great days, I work to maintain a real sense of faith in myself: here's how.
1. Focus on what it is, not what it isn’t: The deeper you dive into your chosen artform, the more you educate yourself about the different styles, genres, and voices within it. It’s easy to feel sad or insecure about what you’re not because no single artist can be everything to everyone. I try to stay focused on what I am as a writer: contemporary, funny, feminist, fast-paced. There’s many things I’m not, and that’s okay. You can still enjoy what you’re not as an audience member. You don’t need to do it for it to enrich your life.
2. Roll with rejection: This morning I received my 6th rejection for a writing residency in 2017. I haven’t gotten into any this year. The more rejection I get, the less it bothers me. I don’t need to do residencies to work: very little outside yourself is truly essential to the creation of work (even a publisher is not essential to the actual creation: trust me, I’ve written two books that didn’t sell). When it comes to rejection, practice the ancient mantra: Give zero f*cks.
3. Find a way to live with your fears: Currently, mine is acknowledgement, not space. I hear the nervous, negative chatter, and I say “Fine, I hear you, in some ways I agree but I JUST DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU.” I have to crank out thousands of words a month, I don’t have to time to sit and worry. Find a way that works for you, remembering the end goal is producing work.
4. Speak lovingly about the work: A true sense of faith comes from within, but it is kept alive by your micro and macro community. Even if you’re unproduced/unpublished, speak lovingly and with excitement about your work. You’ll build a solid support system. If you’re having a bad day/s, wait until you feel more positive rather than trashing yourself and your work. It’s off-putting and damaging to your end goal. Therapy can help you work through self-doubt.
5. Stay connected. We say wedding vows to establish guidelines for the successful longevity of a relationship. Remind yourself regularly why you’re doing what you’re doing. And it does not need to be 100% altruistic: it’s better if it’s not. To paraphrase Liz Gilbert, create for your needs not the perceived needs of those around you. I need entertaining, emotional, intelligent stories about young women, that’s why I create them. It’s easy to get bogged down in the muck of self-doubt, fear, compare-and-despair syndrome: stay connected to the why, and see the big picture.
I sold my next book!
I done did it, Ma! Coming to a bookstore near you in 2018 will be The Bucket List. It's about a young woman, Lacey Whitman, who is single and works as a trend forecaster in NYC. Right off the bat, Lacey is diagnosed with the BRCA1 gene mutation, which puts her at an 87% lifetime risk of developing hereditary breast cancer. Lacey, a self-made gal with a cracking sense of humor, elects for a preventative mastectomy and breast reconstruction to all but eliminate this risk: but before that, she creates a “boob bucket list”: all the things she wants to do with and for her beautiful tatas. Her adventurous year changes everything in her life—love, friendship, career—as she grapples with the questions of true self-knowledge, destiny, identity, and, of course, sex.
I’m excited to write this book to explore the very real choice an increasing number of young women who are at risk for breast cancer make, as well as diving into the murky arena of female sexuality. My feeling is many women my age are sexually experienced, but perhaps not sensually experienced. We know how to please others, but when thinking about what turns us on, really, it’s way more complicated. The challenge of this book will be balancing gravitas with humor; pathos with wit. First draft is due to my freelance editor, Sarah, end of June. That’s 16K good clean words a month, minimum. Stay with me as I start making things up for your reading pleasure!
How to research for fiction
My next book is a young woman who is diagnosed with a mutated gene, BRCA1, which puts her an elevated risk of breast cancer. I do not have the BRCA1 gene, nor do I have a family history of cancer. Am I nervous about writing about something I haven't lived? Heck yes I am! But I'm a storyteller. I feel confident in my ability to learn about new worlds and bring them to life, with the magical power of research...
Books on your subject are great (and I’ve read perhaps a dozen books relating to BRCA) but finding IRL subjects is essential. Not only can you find out what you need, but these subjects can help you navigate this new space and advocate for you in a world where you are just a tourist.
1: Finding your subjects
So far I’ve interviewed women with breast cancer, women with the BRCA gene who have undergone mastectomies, a plastic surgeon, a genetic counselor, at-risk cancer advocates, as well as various trend forecasters. Most of these interviews happened over Skype (I’ve set up an in-person meeting at a cancer care center that was super hard to get but absolutely essential). To find these subjects, I focused on existing communities like F.O.R.C.E (Facing Our Risk Of Cancer Empowered) and Bright Pink, by posting on their forums and emailing staffers directly.
2: Reaching out
When it comes to research for a novel, people are more likely to want to help than you think they are. People like talking about themselves or their specialities, and most people want to be nice, and help an author out. They don’t want you to waste their time or generally be a ding-dong, and the best way to assure them that you're a norm is in your communication. My requests take the form of:
- an introduction, including credentials
- the request (a phone interview)
- my reason for the project
All of this is short, polite, grammatically correct, with relevant links so they can see I’m legit.
3: Doing the interview
I start by explaining the project and the part of it I need their expertise in. Sometimes I have questions written down but so much of my work and what I need is just in my brain so I usually don't need to. You’re going to be searching for technical details (facts/processes) or emotional details (how did things make someone feel? What was the hardest/weirdest part?). My project involves asking very personal details, like things to do with sex. Usually I just go for it: I’m just pretty straightforward and down to earth about it. Interviewees respond in kind. Never run long. If you need more time, see if you can schedule a follow-up.
4: Staying in touch
You can get a sense pretty quickly about who is really into your project: make sure you keep the door open. Right now, almost all of my subjects are down to read the sections of the book I needed them for, and that is invaluable. If you’re writing about a world you’re not in, it MUST pass the smell test of those who do. If it does, they’re more likely to recommend it to their community and you won’t piss anybody off.
Overall, research is easier than you think it is, and it’s really fun! I know all this stuff about breast cancer and the cancer community I didn’t know before, which is a true privilege. Don’t let a lack of knowledge you scare off a subject. Life is for the learning!